{"product_id":"candy-first-then-the-van-funny-t-shirt","title":"Candy First Then the Van Funny T-Shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eYellow, orange and red lettering stacks the dark-humor line, “I Gotta See the Candy First, Then I Get in the Van. I'm Not Stupid.” Small wrapped-candy illustrations sit beside the text, making the absurd premise visual.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cp\u003eThe graphic is intentionally provocative adult humor, with the final line turning the setup into an obviously poor claim of good judgment. Its warm-colored lettering stands out clearly against the black shirt.\u003c\/p\u003e\u003ch2\u003eDesign details\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eYellow, orange and red slogan lettering\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eSmall wrapped-candy illustrations\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eDark-humor caption ending I'M NOT STUPID\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\u003ch2\u003eFabric and fit\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cul\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eGildan 64000 Softstyle T-shirt in Black, made from 100% ring-spun cotton.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eLightweight 4.5 oz\/yd² (153 g\/m²) fabric with a classic unisex fit.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003cli\u003eRibbed crew neck, taped shoulders and tubular construction without side seams.\u003c\/li\u003e\n\u003c\/ul\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eChoose your size\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eAvailable in S, M, L, XL and 2XL. Compare the measurements below with a T-shirt you already like: lay it flat, measure across the body for width, then measure from the top of the shoulder to the hem for length. Width is the flat garment width, not your chest circumference.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ctable\u003e\n\u003ccaption\u003eGarment measurements in inches\u003c\/caption\u003e\n\u003cthead\u003e\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eSize\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eWidth\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"col\"\u003eLength\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\u003c\/thead\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003eS\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e18\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e28\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003eM\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e20\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e29\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003eL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e22\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e30\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003eXL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e24\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e31\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003cth scope=\"row\"\u003e2XL\u003c\/th\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e26\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e32\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\n\u003c\/table\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eSupplier-stated measurement tolerance: 1.5 inches. Need help choosing? Contact \u003ca href=\"mailto:support@nekoloot.com\"\u003eNeko Loot support\u003c\/a\u003e before ordering.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/h2\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eWash with similar colors in cold water, up to 30°C. Tumble dry on low heat and use a low-temperature iron if needed. Do not bleach or dry clean.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003ch2\u003eOrdering and support\u003c\/h2\u003e\u003cp\u003eNeko Loot shirts are made to order. See our \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/shipping-policy\"\u003eshipping policy\u003c\/a\u003e for production and delivery estimates, and our \u003ca href=\"\/policies\/refund-policy\"\u003e30-day replacement support policy\u003c\/a\u003e for help with an order issue.\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"S \/ Black","offer_id":46300187394133,"sku":"NL038-07-38164","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"M \/ Black","offer_id":46300187426901,"sku":"NL038-07-38178","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"L \/ Black","offer_id":46300187459669,"sku":"NL038-07-38192","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"XL \/ Black","offer_id":46300187492437,"sku":"NL038-07-38206","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"2XL \/ Black","offer_id":46300187525205,"sku":"NL038-07-38220","price":23.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0592\/5761\/8517\/files\/nekoloot-8511402541141-black-travertine.png?v=1791810126","url":"https:\/\/nekoloot.com\/products\/candy-first-then-the-van-funny-t-shirt","provider":"Neko Loot","version":"1.0","type":"link"}